A letter of wishes is a separate, informal document that sits alongside your will and gives your executors and trustees guidance on how to interpret and carry out your wishes. It is not a legal document; it does not have to be witnessed; it can be changed at any time without affecting the will. It exists to handle the dozens of small, personal, time-sensitive things a formal will cannot or should not address.
This guide covers what a letter of wishes is for, what to put in it (and what to keep out), how it interacts with a will and any trusts, and the common mistakes that turn a helpful letter into a probate liability.
Key takeaways:
- A letter of wishes is non-binding - your executors and trustees should consider it but are not legally required to follow it.
- It is a separate document from the will. It can be updated freely without re-signing or re-witnessing the will.
- The most common uses are: guidance to trustees of a discretionary trust, funeral preferences, personal items and sentimental gifts, and explaining the reasoning behind decisions in the will (e.g. why one child was treated differently from another).
- Letters of wishes should not contradict the will. Where there is conflict, the will wins.
- Store the letter with the will and tell your executors it exists. A letter no one knows about is no use to anyone.
What a letter of wishes actually is
The will is the formal legal document - signed, witnessed, lodged at probate. The letter of wishes is the personal document that accompanies it. It is written by you, for the people who will deal with your estate, telling them things you want them to know that don't fit naturally inside a will.
Three things distinguish a letter of wishes from a will:
- No legal formalities. No witnesses, no specific wording. A handwritten letter is fine; a typed one is fine; an email kept with the will is fine (although paper is safer).
- Not binding. Executors and trustees should read it and take it into account, but they are not bound to follow it. The will itself is what legally controls the estate.
- Easy to update. Replace the letter whenever your wishes change. There's no need to re-sign or re-witness anything.
What to put in a letter of wishes
The five most common uses:
1. Guidance to trustees of a discretionary trust
If your will sets up a discretionary trust, the trustees have full discretion over which beneficiaries receive what. A letter of wishes is where you tell them how you'd like that discretion exercised - the family priorities, the children's circumstances, the situations that might call for a larger or smaller share.
Example wording: "It is my wish that the trustees pay particular attention to my granddaughter Sarah's educational needs. I would like up to half of the trust fund to be available for her university and postgraduate fees, even though my will places no obligation on the trustees to do so."
This is the single most important use of a letter of wishes. Without one, trustees of a discretionary trust have no insight into what you would have wanted.
2. Funeral preferences
A will is not the right place for funeral instructions. By the time the will is read - often days or weeks after death - the funeral may already have happened. A letter of wishes the executors find quickly is far more useful.
Cover:
- Burial or cremation, and any preference about location
- Religious or secular ceremony preferences
- Music, readings, charities for donations
- People you'd like to be told (or not told)
- Whether you've pre-paid a funeral plan and with whom
See our funeral instructions in a will guide for the detail.
3. Personal items and sentimental gifts
A will can leave the residue of personal effects to a beneficiary with discretion to divide them up. A letter of wishes can then say: "Of my personal effects, I would like the following items to go to specific people..." followed by a list.
This avoids the will becoming a 10-page inventory and lets you update the list as you acquire or pass on items during your lifetime.
4. Explaining the reasoning
If you've made a will decision that might surprise or upset someone - leaving a smaller share to one child, omitting a relative, leaving a significant gift to a charity - a letter of wishes is the place to explain why.
This serves two purposes. First, it reduces the chance of a family argument by giving people the context. Second, it makes a will harder to challenge under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 - a court considering whether to override your wishes will weigh up your stated reasons.
Be measured. A letter that reads like a grievance can do more harm than good. Stick to facts and considered reasoning.
5. Practical information
The day-to-day stuff your executors will struggle to track down:
- Where the will is stored
- Names and contact details of professional advisers (accountant, financial adviser, solicitor)
- Locations of important documents (deeds, insurance policies, share certificates)
- A list of pension and life insurance providers
- Online account information (consider a separate password manager for this)
- Pet care arrangements
This kind of letter is what eventually became the Trusted Hands Family Vault - structured online storage for exactly this information.
What to keep out
Just as important as what to include:
- Anything that contradicts the will. If you want to change who inherits the residue, you need a new will or codicil, not a letter of wishes. Conflicting documents cause expensive disputes.
- New beneficiaries the will doesn't already provide for. A letter cannot create a legally enforceable gift.
- Specific monetary amounts - if you want to leave £10,000 to your goddaughter, put it in the will. A letter saying "I'd like Jane to receive £10,000" is not legally binding and depends entirely on the executors' goodwill.
- Anything you don't want made public. If the will is contested, a letter of wishes may be disclosed in court proceedings. Don't put confessions, family secrets, or grievances in writing.
- Tax planning instructions. These belong in the will, drafted by a solicitor.
The rule of thumb: if it's legally important, put it in the will. If it's personally important but legally optional, put it in the letter.
Trusted Hands customers can store a letter of wishes alongside their will in the Digital Vault. Update it any time, keep one master copy, and your executors find it the moment they need it. Start your will →
How a letter interacts with a will
The legal hierarchy is clear: the will controls. If the will leaves £50,000 to your daughter, that's what she receives - even if a letter of wishes says you intended only £30,000. The letter has no power to override the will.
But the letter has practical influence in two specific situations:
- Discretionary trusts - trustees have legal discretion, and they are entitled (and usually expected) to consider any letter of wishes when exercising it. Courts have been clear that trustees should not be slavish to a letter, but should give it serious weight.
- Executor decisions where the will is silent - if the will says "my executors may distribute my personal effects as they see fit", a letter setting out specific allocations effectively becomes the guide. Executors who ignore a clear letter of wishes may face complaints from beneficiaries.
In disputed cases, the letter of wishes can be admitted as evidence of your intentions - so write it as if it might be read in court.
How to write one
Length: usually one to four pages. Long enough to be useful, short enough to be read.
Structure:
- Your full name, address and date.
- A line linking it to the will: "This letter of wishes accompanies my will dated [date]."
- The substantive content, organised by topic.
- A closing line noting any earlier letters are superseded: "I revoke any previous letters of wishes."
- Your signature and date (not required legally, but useful for confirming which version is current).
Update it whenever your wishes change. Date each new version. Destroy old versions.
Frequently asked questions
Does a letter of wishes need to be witnessed?
No. There are no formalities for a letter of wishes. It can be handwritten, typed, signed or unsigned. Adding your signature and date is sensible for proving authorship and ensuring executors know which version is current, but it isn't legally required.
Can a letter of wishes change my will?
No. Only a properly executed will or codicil can change the legal disposition of your estate. A letter of wishes can guide and explain, but never override.
What if my executors ignore my letter?
Generally they're entitled to. The letter is non-binding. The exception is where the executors are also trustees of a discretionary trust - in that case they have a fiduciary duty to consider the letter, and disregarding it without good reason could leave them open to challenge.
Where should I keep the letter?
With the will. The executors need to find both together. Some people seal the letter in an envelope marked "to be opened with my will". Trusted Hands customers can store both in the Digital Vault.
Can my letter of wishes be disclosed in court?
Yes, in disputed probate or trust litigation. Write it knowing it might be read by people other than your executors. Avoid anything you wouldn't be comfortable having read aloud in court.
How often should I update it?
Whenever your wishes change. Major life events (births, deaths, marriages, divorces in the family) and changes in family relationships are obvious triggers. Even without specific events, a five-yearly refresh ensures the letter still reflects how you'd actually like things handled.
Do I need a solicitor to write one?
No. The letter is informal by design - a solicitor isn't needed unless the underlying will involves complex trusts and you want their guidance to align with the legal drafting. Most people write the letter themselves.
Trusted Hands is a UK will-writing service. A letter of wishes is an informal supplement to your will and does not require legal drafting. For letters guiding complex trust structures, your trust drafting solicitor is the right person to draft the letter alongside the will.
Want somewhere to keep your letter of wishes?
Trusted Hands customers store letters of wishes, will copies, insurance policies, deeds and more in the encrypted Family Vault.
- Start a will from £49 and get free Digital Vault access for your will
- Family Vault subscription unlocks vault storage for letters, insurance, deeds, identity documents and funeral wishes
- Designated viewer access so executors find everything in one place